Let’s pump the brakes with this alcoholic root beer

You always want what you can’t have. Why is that? The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. We are never satisfied with what we have when our imaginations are so quick to tell us what might be. That’s the only explanation I can come up with to explain the hordes of grownups desperately searching Maine stores for root beer.

Not Your Father’s Root Beer, an alcoholic beverage that tastes just like regular root beer, is experiencing something akin to Beatlemania. For their part, consumers are showing all the composure of a pack of teenagers, as stores can’t keep the brew on their shelves.

“I heard they had it at the Dysart’s in Old Town!” or “There’s a store in Brewer that just got some!” But instead of asking where, let’s ask why.

A couple weeks ago while I was on vacation, I was lucky enough to be near a store that had the stuff. The owner told me he had five cases and was down to two and those would be gone by the weekend. And they were. Everybody I was with tried it, amazed at how it tasted like regular root beer with a slight alcohol aftertaste. “This is dangerous,” they remarked. Then they finished the bottle and went back to drinking regular beer.

Not Your Father’s Root Beer (or its bastard cousin, Coney Island hard root beer) is a novelty. It’s not something you would want to drink a lot of. But I understand the attraction, the allure of something you can’t have. How your imagination fuels desire until you simply must give in to the exotic seduction of root beer that gets you drunk.

Besides, this stuff is so sought after you would be the hero of any backyard BBQ if you showed up with a six-pack. Frankly, I’d be impressed. Because, even if we know better, we still jump the fence to get at that greener grass.

Hunter Smith

About Hunter Smith

Hunter lives in Bangor with his wife and two kids. He works as a Christmas tree farmer and enjoys being outside...most of the time. Originally from Dixmont, he is a UMaine graduate, Red Sox fan, and Scorpio. Although sometimes restless, he is never bored.